Oh, we’re halfway there! Hold on! We’ve heard some more crazy!
1. Aaron Rodgers is done. Fin. Finito. Finished. After throwing for 77 yards against the Denver Broncos on Sunday, it’s time to call it a career.
2. Derek Carr is going to win the MVP. He’s thrown for 1,793 yards, has a completion percentage of 65.5%, and has thrown 15 touchdowns to just three interceptions. He also has the Raiders over .500 this late in the season for the first time in forever. Just kidding. No matter what he does, he’ll never win the MVP because he plays for the Raiders.
3. Bruce Arians is going to leave Arizona to take over as head coach at his Alma mater, Virginia Tech. The legend, Frank “The Tank” Beamer announced his retirement on Sunday, and Arians is the only man for the job.
4. The Bengals are going undefeated. I’m pretty sure I’ve already said this, but after another win this past week, they’ve cemented that they are the best team in the league.
5. Someone will explain what the protestors at the Monday Night Football game were protesting. I don’t have anything witty to say. I literally don’t think anyone knows what they were protesting.
Bonus: I know Jim Harbaugh is not in the NFL anymore. But after saying that sleep, whole milk, water, and steak are natural steroids, the NFL will start testing for all four things.